Smile
by yaoikoibito
Summary: He wondered how long he would have to keep up the façade of wide smiles and loud laughter, to hide the fact that he was slowly dying inside. “Morning Kaoru,” he said with a lop-sided grin. Slight twincest


A/n: I cancelled J.O.G after finding out that I have a lot of stuff to do for this July… that and that all the oneshots I had written, except for one, are all about my original characters… I realized this after the 19th oneshot…so yeah…XD. Sorry to my fanfiction readers! Erm… hi to my journal readers! XD Also, the computer wasn't functioning well at all… =-= ah well…

Warning: Slight twincest (one sided), OOCness

xxX~o~o~Xxx

_To be your friend was all I ever wanted, to be your lover was all I ever dreamed._

_~~o~~_

Some of the morning sunlight filtered through the curtains, slightly lighting the whole room. Hikaru grunted, awakened a little startled when something warm landed on his chest with a soft '_thud_'. He was getting used to being awakened like this. An arm would wrap itself around his shoulders, pulling his body closer against Kaoru's own. It wasn't the hug that had surprised him. He and Kaoru were brothers after all (and twins at that), so of course there were a lot of occasional hugs here and there (though theirs more frequent compared to others). What _had_ surprised him was how these late night snuggles had somewhat become more… clingy. Kaoru would cling to him, as if afraid that Hikaru would leave him.

Hikaru sighed a little. If only the _conscious_ Kaoru was _this_ honest. As he took a peek at his brother, some strands of his younger brother's hair fell on his face. He tucked them behind Kaoru's ear, and repositioned his arm as a make-shift pillow for Kaoru.

How sometimes he wished they could stay like this a little longer. Kaoru sleeping, his body half on top of Hikaru leaving a nice tingling sensation, instead of forlorn heat during the rest of the day. Hikaru would also be asleep, his arms protectively around Kaoru's form, he wouldn't be thinking of his woes, rather be content. But he knew better, because time wouldn't stop for him, for something he wanted that was so petty.

He wanted them to be together forever, him and Kaoru. But Kaoru had other things in mind. He was slowly pushing Hikaru away, persuading him to pursue after Haruhi. He loved Haruhi, but what he felt for Kaoru, it was different. He wanted to laugh wryly, sometimes, life was just so ironic it hurts.

He shifted, now lying on his side, face to face with Kaoru. He could hear the soft snores coming from him. Those lips, a few more centimetres and he would feel them against his own. If only he had the guts to lean in a little more, closing the distance.

But he can't. Because he couldn't. Because he wouldn't. Because he _knew_ he just _shouldn't_.

Whenever Hikaru looked at Kaoru's face like this, at how content he was asleep, he would remember the faces of these people that sometimes appeared in his dreams. They had that look of utter contentment, as if just being together made everything all right. He sometimes thought they may have been his and Kaoru's past lives. How ironic would it be if their souls had been past lovers?

It was almost time, and a little part of him again wished that time would stop. With each second that passed, he was falling in love with Kaoru deeper and deeper. He vaguely wondered when he would hit rock bottom, but he knew this feeling wasn't going to end any time soon.

The prospect of Kaoru belonging to him and him belonging to Kaoru was a faint future. Because of this, he cherished the times when they would act. The 'I love you's they exchanged, the ones meant for lovers, Hikaru would always pretend Kaoru said it with real feelings and Hikaru always meant what he said.

Hikaru sighed into his younger brother's hair, it didn't to him good to think about these things so early in the morning, but then again, when was it ever a good time? He closed his eyes, wanting sleep to take over him. Sleep wasn't coming soon, he thought as he felt Kaoru slightly shift away from him. It was always like this whenever it'd be nearing the time for them to wake up.

And sure enough, after a few moments, Kaoru turned, with his back to his older brother. Hikaru lets his hand slide limply from around Kaoru's waist, landing on the soft sheets of the bed. His jaw locked and his lips pursed tightly together. He snaked his arm around Kaoru's waist once more, he pulled him closer, firmly against his chest.

The time for morning contemplation was done.

He waited a few more minutes, until Kaoru's evened out breathing was slowly subsiding, signalling him that he was going to slip out of his slumber and whatever wonderful dream he was having. Hikaru feigned to snore lightly just as Kaoru twisted around to face him. He felt his brother's fingers encircle his hand resting on the other's waist, removing his hand.

"Hey Hikaru…" Kaoru whispered his name close to the shell of his ear. Hikaru shivered slightly as warm breath ghosted over his skin.

The older twin rolled over, burying his face in his pillow, taking in a shaky breath. He whimpered, and he hoped that the other would think he had just woken up from a nightmare. Kaoru rolled him over again so lay on his back. The alarm clock rang and he could feel and hear the sheets rustle as Kaoru moved to switch it off.

"Hikaru…" Kaoru said in a sing song voice, "Wake up!" He added in happily.

Hikaru slowly opened his eyes, banishing the painful thoughts of having to go through another day with the constant risk of his and Kaoru's close relation being severed.

He feigned happiness, smiling widely at Kaoru; he even considered chuckling a little.

He wondered how long he would have to keep up the façade of wide smiles and loud laughter, to hide the fact that he was slowly dying inside.

"Morning Kaoru," he said with a lop-sided grin.

_Fin_

A/n: eh… another angsty (well sort off, I guess) fic for Hitachiincest. Huh, better write something about them not so angsty soon right?

erm... review please? *sweatdrop*


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